We get up with the sun nearly every morning, I serve breakfast, clean up, and get ready for the day. Errands, tutoring, school, speech, and homeschool lessons have taken up nearly every drop of mental energy I have each day, but I started this year with a list of goals for self improvement, self love, and self preservation and I’m giving myself permission to not feel guilty about that. Last year broke me, so I want to spend the time I have now on growth- mentally, physically, and creatively. I just want to spend the year making myself proud.
Our afternoons and evenings are just as busy- lunch time, nap time, clean, make dinner, and get ready for bed. But in between all those things during the day, I’m making time for me.
Mothering in the time of Covid had me feeling lost. I was in constant state of survival mode that was chipping away, rapidly, at the foundation of who I am outside of being “mom”. I’ve made it a habit to exercise daily, make self portraits weekly, sign myself up for courses I’ve been wanting to take, and meet with a therapist.
Right now, while I work out cramming 87 things within the brief 10 hours of sunlight we get each day, my time documenting our lives has taken a back seat. Eventually, picking up my camera to preserve daily moments will be added to that list. It’s incredibly important to me.
I’ve made very few personal images this year so far while I focus on growth, but the ones I have made seem to have even more meaning to me right now than previous years while I was documenting behind the mask of motherhood as my only title.
“I hope love
feel like good music.
Songs that do not
reject the valley,
but are carved out
of its muddy
admist all of it:
you are seen.”
-Morgan Harper Nichols
This is part of ARTIFACT MOTHERHOOD – a project shared with other female artists who are documenting our journeys as mothers and creating memories for our children through our photographs and words. Go next to the wonderful artist Min to read her post in our blog circle.