I’ve tried, for hours, to articulate my feelings toward motherhood and growing up and documenting little moments for Artifact Motherhood this week, but I cannot seem to put my thoughts into words that will reach another parent’s heart in a way that hasn’t already been said or written about or sang about. My heart is poured on to every single image that I make of my children, though, so here goes nothing….
Motherhood is weird. It’s a constant tug of war between wishing my children would nap so I could sit in peace for five minutes and wishing they could stay up a little longer for cuddles in the evening, between wishing I didn’t have to clean up pee off the floor and wanting my baby to stay a baby a bit longer. I document because I hate how fast time moves. It makes me sound a little silly when I talk about it, actually. I mean, I know all parents wonder why time moves so quickly. It’s something that takes over my thoughts on a regular basis, though. The thought of my babies not being this small anymore is a crippling realization. This job has been a dream of mine my whole life, and I waited a long time to earn the title. My feelings of intense exhaustion seem to conflict with my feelings of trying to hold on, though.
But if I could write a poem about my deepest feelings regarding motherhood, it would be peppered with the visions of summer. I’d write about their dirty feet and his hand in mine. I’d write about the smell of sunscreen and the sound of their laughter. I’d write about our long morning walks and picnic lunches. Summer is my favorite. It’s a blend of everything I think childhood should be which makes documenting it highly important to me. I want my children to reminisce about their childhood and remember how incredible these long summer days were, even if I begged them to stop screaming or complained about dirt in the house. These moments are my ode to childhood summers:
This is Artifact Motherhood; a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come. Please check out, Jess, the next artist in our blog circle, and continue through all the artists until you get back to me!
Oh, Lauren. There is such poetry in your words and images. I think they perfectly capture this stage of the messy, but beautiful days of summer with your little ones. I really love the black and white one of you in the photo. It is so full of emotion that sums up your words perfectly.
Lauren, this is such a beautiful post! I can so relate to the tug of war I go through those exact feelings… Love the way you expressed this, and the images are just such a perfect depiction of a beautiful childhood ❤
Beautiful collection of images Lauren, i can hear the pitter patter of bare feet, the splashes of water and the giggles! Summer is my ABSOLUTE favourite, I mean the other seasons don’t even come close, right? 😉 I remember my summers as a kid as THE best times ever, and your kids are so lucky to get those amazing memories from you! Having said that I also completely understand the paradox of feeling completely spent at the same time, and now more than ever! Still, I can’t wait for our summer break to begin in a month or so, you’ve inspired me to capture all the details of our first summer as a family of five! x
Such a beautiful post. Your images and words really resonate. My children are much bigger and I still long for those days when they were tiny. Capturing all this will be such treasure to look back on. x
Oh lauren, I have to say I am in awe of your photographic skills! You are such an amazing photographer!! That very first image I am particularly drawn to- colours and light and focus. Adore that image! But they are all stunning, as is all your work. Your children are so lucky that they have these stunning images of their childhood, is there a greater gift you could give them?!
I also totally get you about motherhood being a contradiction! It’s a continuous contradiction isn’t it. And trying to slow time down.
Beautiful post Lauren, I love your work so much. x
This! Your imagines are true poetry, representing season you and your family are in. I can feel the energy, love and emotion you’ve poured into your art and it’s awe inspiring. Beautiful job momma 💗