I’ve tried, for hours, to articulate my feelings toward motherhood and growing up and documenting little moments for Artifact Motherhood this week, but I cannot seem to put my thoughts into words that will reach another parent’s heart in a way that hasn’t already been said or written about or sang about. My heart is poured on to every single image that I make of my children, though, so here goes nothing….
Motherhood is weird. It’s a constant tug of war between wishing my children would nap so I could sit in peace for five minutes and wishing they could stay up a little longer for cuddles in the evening, between wishing I didn’t have to clean up pee off the floor and wanting my baby to stay a baby a bit longer. I document because I hate how fast time moves. It makes me sound a little silly when I talk about it, actually. I mean, I know all parents wonder why time moves so quickly. It’s something that takes over my thoughts on a regular basis, though. The thought of my babies not being this small anymore is a crippling realization. This job has been a dream of mine my whole life, and I waited a long time to earn the title. My feelings of intense exhaustion seem to conflict with my feelings of trying to hold on, though.
But if I could write a poem about my deepest feelings regarding motherhood, it would be peppered with the visions of summer. I’d write about their dirty feet and his hand in mine. I’d write about the smell of sunscreen and the sound of their laughter. I’d write about our long morning walks and picnic lunches. Summer is my favorite. It’s a blend of everything I think childhood should be which makes documenting it highly important to me. I want my children to reminisce about their childhood and remember how incredible these long summer days were, even if I begged them to stop screaming or complained about dirt in the house. These moments are my ode to childhood summers:
This is Artifact Motherhood; a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come. Please check out, Jess, the next artist in our blog circle, and continue through all the artists until you get back to me!